Sunday, April 01, 2007

South Carolina: Thousands Starve Praying for a Fish while atheist fisherman watches in disbelief

Atheist fisherman Randall MCCrakkin went to the sprawling compound of one of S.C.'s most prominent fundementalist colonies and discovered them wasting away for lack of food. When he offered to teach them to fish and give them hooks and line and other acoutriments, he was rebuffed.

"Yeah, it was really pretty wierd. I was all like 'y'all, the bay is full of fish. Why are you starving?' And they just sat there on there knees around these cast iron frying pans. They had butter and lemon and salt and pepper all laid out and they were just prayin' fer a fish. When I offered to go out and show them how to catch the darn things they just looked at me like I was crazy. One guy asked if I love the lord. I told him I wasn't gay if that's what he meant but that I didn't go for all the religion stuff. Two security guards, all wobbly and shit 'cause they were starvin' I guess, escorted me to the gate. It's too bad they all starved to death. When I heard about it I was surprised. I mean, I left them a bunch of line and hooks and sinkers and bait shrimp and stuff. I figured they'd all go and wait till I left so's they wouldn't feel stupid'n all. But I figured they'd use the stuff. Man."

All 2,421 members of the church of god and the infallible word died.

1 comment:

curtisdawg said...

I did that once. Starved. It sucked.