Friday, January 29, 2010

Internet Dumb Fuck Discovers, Via Google, 'Occham’s Razor' and 'Just-So Stories.'

by guest columnist, DavidM
Originally published at

Internet Dumb Fuck Discovers, Via Google, 'Occham’s Razor' and 'Just-So Stories.'

A Close Shave: The 14th century Franciscan monk, William of Ockham, has narrowly failed to avert having his name and idea co-opted by a fucklord.

TALKRATIONAL.ORG (Internet News Service) — A douchebag with access to a computer has accidentally discovered, via random Google surfing, the terms “Occham’s Razor” and “just-so stories,” and can’t get enough of using them even though he doesn’t know what they mean, it was revealed Friday.

“That’s a just-so Story,” the douchewit, Socrates, declared in a post at Talk

He went on to demand: “What about Occham’s Razor?”

The fuckwit emphasized “What about Occham’s Razor?” by tagging it in bold type.

“The bottom line is that the idea of empty niches is just a just-so story,” Socrates added, with respect to the theory of evolution. “And not worth arguing about.”

“Of course,” the pontificating and ill-educated jackass asseverated, “all of this is a showstopper problem for evolution theory.”

The rubes who make up about 85 percent of the American public were impressed.

“Ebbolution be just a just-so story,” Bobby Layne Breathard, 39, of Buttfuck, Ark., drawled at his local school board while chewing chaw, during a debate about whether to replace biology texts with the Bible in science class. “Whaddabout that there Occham’s Razor and some nice Occam’s aftershave and cologne?”

The school board voted unanimously to require that biology classes teach “The Total Theory” instead of the theory of evolution.

Saturday, January 09, 2010

Internet Fruitcake Reveals That The Sun ‘Is God’s Giant Wood-Burning Campfire in The Sky”

By Guest reporter davidm

(link to original)

TALKRATIONAL.ORG (Internet News Service) — A mentally retarded habituĂ© of Internet Message Boards revealed Saturday that the sun was actually a gigantic wood-burning campfire tended by God.

“There is not much doubt that the sun is simply a gigantic wood-burning campfire,” the retard, Socrates, posted at the Talk Rational message board. “But it is not an impersonal object that produces energy by fusing hydrogen into helium, as the materialists claim. That is a fake.”

Socrates explained that the wood for the campfire is collected in The Plenum, and then transferred into the sky via quantum fluctuations produced by a team of “campfire girls” appointed by God. God, he went on to explain, tends the fire, periodically stoking it by applying a flame produced by a Bic lighter the size of Europe.

“This is obvious,” Socrates said.

Pressed for evidence that the sun was actually a gigantic wood-burning campfire rather than an object that produces radiant energy via the well-understood process of nuclear fusion, Socrates said, “People wish to engage me in discussion by these mischaracterizations. It will not work.”

He added, "Nice try. All the points I have been making have been backed up. You will have to do better."

The sun is a giant campfire, it was first realized on Saturday.

It is tended by God.

The Lord keeps the fire burning with a Bic lighter.

The lighter is roughly the size of Europe.