Enough clowning around. I have a lot of ground to cover if I want to find out about god. It might take me a while and I have some background to catch up on.
You see, I was raised without official religion. I remember as a young child having to fill in the name of my church in school documents. (In those days that was important information for the school, like my credit score is now). My mom told me the name of the church we went to, but it was a lie. We’d never been to church. I take that back. According to my parents, I was taken to church once when I was two. I screamed the whole time in nursery school or wherever they take babies who might scream, and the nice lady who probably also ran the potlucks and other church functions asked my parents not to bring me back. And because that was a church close to home, the name of the church I was supposed to fill out was far away. One that none of the other kids in the school probably went to.
That was my first impression of religion; something you needed to tell people you did because they expected it of you. Not because you really did it. Religion is about filling in boxes.