Saturday, January 09, 2010

Internet Fruitcake Reveals That The Sun ‘Is God’s Giant Wood-Burning Campfire in The Sky”

By Guest reporter davidm

BREAKING NEWS
(link to original)

TALKRATIONAL.ORG (Internet News Service) — A mentally retarded habitué of Internet Message Boards revealed Saturday that the sun was actually a gigantic wood-burning campfire tended by God.

“There is not much doubt that the sun is simply a gigantic wood-burning campfire,” the retard, Socrates, posted at the Talk Rational message board. “But it is not an impersonal object that produces energy by fusing hydrogen into helium, as the materialists claim. That is a fake.”

Socrates explained that the wood for the campfire is collected in The Plenum, and then transferred into the sky via quantum fluctuations produced by a team of “campfire girls” appointed by God. God, he went on to explain, tends the fire, periodically stoking it by applying a flame produced by a Bic lighter the size of Europe.

“This is obvious,” Socrates said.

Pressed for evidence that the sun was actually a gigantic wood-burning campfire rather than an object that produces radiant energy via the well-understood process of nuclear fusion, Socrates said, “People wish to engage me in discussion by these mischaracterizations. It will not work.”

He added, "Nice try. All the points I have been making have been backed up. You will have to do better."


The sun is a giant campfire, it was first realized on Saturday.


It is tended by God.


The Lord keeps the fire burning with a Bic lighter.


The lighter is roughly the size of Europe.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

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John said...

This post is by a guest reporter. lol.

Hire this guy.

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